Just when I thought I’d seen it all, someone actually went and filed a trademark for “Emotional Support Meat™”. Yes, really. Filed in April 2025, this one deserves a seat at the weird trademark hall of fame (which, let’s be honest, should totally be a thing).
The filing, made with the USPTO, covers – wait for it – clothing, stickers, packaged meats, and even food delivery services. So basically, you might one day get a hoodie, a brisket, and a sense of comfort in one emotionally supportive package. Who says meat can’t be therapy?
According to the applicant’s vague (but oddly poetic) business description, Emotional Support Meat is meant to bring “humor, comfort, and a touch of protein to those feeling tender.” I mean… they kind of nailed it?
We’ve seen “Emotional Support Animals” taken on planes. We’ve seen “Emotional Support Water Bottles” go viral on TikTok. But “Emotional Support Meat”? That’s a whole new cut.
I don’t know if this brand will ever actually make it to market, but I sincerely hope someone out there is designing the merch as we speak. I’d wear that hat. Medium rare.
Source: Justia Trademarks (trademark no. pending), via USPTO.gov