Perforating system comprised of a hunting rifle with explosive charges to perforate annoying hunting buddies.
Oversight rules evasion services, namely ensuring excessive mishandling of classified materials by the executive branch.
Character assassination equipment, namely, ball-busting, verbal attacks against political opponents.
Tool used in screwing the country, namely, used for steering George W. Bush in critical policy decisions.
Power tools for the creation of imaginary threats and weapons of mass destruction for the purpose of generating fear and gaining political power.
Voting machines, namely, units rigged to undercount opposing party votes, for use in stealing national political elections.
Weather control services, namely, using natural disasters to improve US foreign relations and provide distraction from domestic problems and scandals.
Chemical additive allowing for control over national energy policy, namely, via influence over Ken Lay and Enron.
Explosive charges allowing for maximum deployment of soldiers in order to accomplish economic and political objectives.
Information blocking services, namely, for sealing and plugging information leaks about lesbian family members to the media.
Multilateral Iraq war completion equipment, namely, large “Mission Accomplished” banner. (trademark abandoned: May 31, 2005)